“It’s night time and I’m lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and of all things, hoping to cry (it relieves me somehow). But no tears come out, and…

“It’s night time and I’m lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and of all things, hoping to cry (it relieves me somehow). But no tears come out, and tomorrow I’ll be off to school, trying to keep it all together; trying to seem at least patched-up when really I’m unraveling.   Tomorrow comes, and there is a test in front of me, empty as a blank canvas. The words on the page don’t seem to translate to coherence. They clash into the interference produced by what overwhelms my mind. And what does that create? Static and nothingness.   At home again. People are asleep, and though outside the night is black and blue, the sun sits on the horizon, rising slowly and filling the sky with yellow until it is morning again. And I watch this happen (have watched it happen) for weeks now because I can’t seem to sleep through the night anymore.   Then I grow weary of it. I have the phone in my hand. The number is scrawled childishly on a scrap of paper. The dial tone beeps in the background. Its tone grates my ears. But I can’t choose the right words to say. There are too many of them, each trying to force their way out to the world, cramming against my brain. The phone clicks.”   This seems to be my struggle every time I’m feeling overwhelmed by something. I just can’t seem to express my emotions to anyone in my circle of friends and family, let alone a complete stranger on a hotline. But the fact that there are people out there who sacrifice their time to help someone through a crisis is comforting to me, as I’m sure it may be to others out there.   – Allyson