If you’ve ever wanted to see how pathetic your sledding adventures are in comparison to the pros, you’re in luck. The Winter Olympics are here,…

If you’ve ever wanted to see how pathetic your sledding adventures are in comparison to the pros, you’re in luck. The Winter Olympics are here, and they bring with them all the strange, mildly engaging, and thoroughly frightening sports you only watch every four years. Personally, I can’t watch the Olympics without cringing, flinching, or generally feeling somewhat unpleasant. Something about watching skiers helplessly soaring through the air, hundreds of feet up, upsets me. The same applies with lugers, who slide down ice upwards of 90 miles an hour. I know I can’t be the only one who finds ice skating terrifying, too. They’re wearing knife-shoes, pretty much. Plus there’s the biathlon. All you need to know about the biathlon is that it involves skis and guns. That’s gotta be dangerous, right? For the timid of those among us, at least there’s always curling.

– Will