So just recently I was talking to a friend about one of her relationship problems. She told me that her boyfriend (of about a year) likes to smoke…

So just recently I was talking to a friend about one of her relationship problems. She told me that her boyfriend (of about a year) likes to smoke weed. He loves to do it with his friends. She on the other hand is totally against anyone doing drugs and alcohol. I mean I am too, so I understand where she is coming from. She completely hates her boyfriend smoking weed. At times she would beg him not to do it. He would be like, “Ok, I won’t.” Then a couple weeks later he is off doing it again. Once he even made a promise to her saying that he wouldn’t smoke as often. Maybe like twice or month or so (I don’t remember exactly what was said). Then my friend was telling me that he plans on doing it again soon. They had a mini argument. He was like, “I’m 18 and I do what I want.” Now that upset her quite a bit. She has no clue what to think or do. She was telling me her options: break up with him because of him doing such things (because possibly he will never change) and because she just plain hates the fact that she doesn’t want to be someone who does things like that or just accept him for what he does. He hasn’t gotten hurt or anything…. any suggestions?

– Tatiana

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  • kiko

    personaly i think this is a bit of a double edged knife, from her point of view, if he isn’t willing to compramise for her then she has to question wether he actualy cares about her and what she thinks but on the other hand he is likely to be of the opinion that he shouldnt have to change for her effections.
    i would suggest that she sit with him and tel him what she is thinking, i can tell by your post that she has already tried but advise her to not get emotional about it but tell him the facts, at the end of the day any sort of drug is bad for you, it can lead onto more sirious and dangerous substance abuse and although in britain the laws are a little more relaxed i understand that in america even smoking pot can land you in a lot of trouble with the police. she needs to tell him that she doesn’t want to be asociated with that. don’t get me wrong smoking pot doesnt make him a bad person and i don’t think she should just give up on him but they need to come to a compramise the key to any good relationship is compramise. perhaps she should ask him why he does it and see if they cant find an alternative.
    hope this helps

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  • Rebecca

    Personally I would tell your friend to break up with him. She should see that her many attempts to get him to stop has not worked, and while she has not yet been hurt by his using….she really has because of the hurt she has had to deal with since he will not stop. He will only really stop when he wants to stop and she needs to accept that if she stays with him she will not get him to stop. Even if he is not addicted no one person can make another person quit using. I know it seems harsh or hard but he obviously loves the drugs more than he loves your friend and she deserves someone who puts her before something destructive like drugs.