I had to go to the dentist last week, which is always a harrowing ordeal. First of all, there’s a buildup that makes me really nervous. I have to…

I had to go to the dentist last week, which is always a harrowing ordeal. First of all, there’s a buildup that makes me really nervous. I have to schedule the appointment, confirm the appointment, travel to the appointment, and sit in the waiting room, all the while thinking about how any of my seemingly healthy teeth could be secretly harboring a cavity or some other dental monstrosity. Then, when I finally get in the patient’s chair, with the sun-like light bulb shining directly in my eyes, I start perspiring as the dentist sternly tells me, with a tone of disappointment and disgust, that I clearly have not familiarized myself with the concept, much less the practice, of flossing (I do floss, but I think I have the mechanics wrong or something, because the dentist would not believe my assertions). It strikes me as strange that dentists are so direct with their patients and will baldly tell them to stop eating so much sugar, while doctors tend to be nice and roundabout and avoid telling the patient to stop shoving fast food in their mouths. In any case, regardless of my poor flossing technique, I escaped the dentist’s office with nary a cavity, which gave me a satisfied smile that I imagine creeped a couple people out on the train ride home.
– Will