I have recently, approximately four months ago, returned to therapy. While talking about the person I have become because of my past experiences I…

I have recently, approximately four months ago, returned to therapy. While talking about the person I have become because of my past experiences I realized that I was unusual in a way. I have suffered with much abuse and neglect. My peculiarity is that I choose to keep my humanity and reject the cycles of abuse. It is easy to become accustomed to destructive behavior when so fully immersed in it. I choose not to deny my feelings, even though I kept them private. I knew that they treated me wrongly and made a promise to myself always to be as fair and honest as I could and to not perpetuate their actions on to others in an attempt to displace my emotions. I believe this displacement of the emotion via acting out on someone/something other than the cause of the discomfort to be abuse. My choice also involved remorse. I slipped in my promise to myself as we all do from time to time. The importance of remorse is illustrated here. I choose to feel that I had done wrong and to hurt because of it. Without pain we do not learn from our mistakes because this is a refusal to accept them as mistakes. I choose to the blessed pain and use it to catalyze my own goals and spirit. If any of you reading are going through abuse, I beg you to remember that you don’t have to be like them. Keep pain and honesty close and hope will not be far behind.
– Kevin

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