Do as I say AND as I do

Be clear about your own values and attitudes.
Communicating with your children about difficult issues is mot successful when you, as a parent, are certain about your own feelings. By being open and honest, you can express your values in a caring way. Many parents worry about seeming hypocritical, particularly if they engaged in risky behavior as teenagers themselves but are now urging their children to take a different path. While most teens have a very well-tuned “hypocrisy radar,” they are often sophisticated enough to realize that, in this age of AIDS, automatic weapons, and other dangers, new standards are appropriate.

Set the right example.
Be a living day-to-day example of your values and standards. Show the compassion, honesty, discipline and openness you want your children to have. If you abuse drugs or alcohol, know that your kids are watching and what they observe may undercut your good intentions to keep them substance free. Don’t smoke or allow smoking in your home. Model non-violent behavior. If you want young people to shun violence, you need to demonstrate how. Parents who are dating should know that their kids see what they do, not just hear what they say.